Why Am I Telling This Story? I Don't Know

I know, I know everyone voted for a post on what I want for Christmas. But there are still so many days till Christmas so I'll get to that later. (thus, further diminishing any trust you had in the poll) Instead, just for irony's sake, I'm going to tell you a story. A story that has no point in being told since a certain story competition passed it up weeks ago. Dare I say, this story rivals any before it and I would challenge the current winner to seriously consider delivering the prize to me... Colin, the ball is in your court. This story is an instant classic mostly because its incredibly embarrassing for me. I know Box has about 100 of these, but luckily for you, this will be my story's world premier. So, with out further to do, I give you...

My First Fill-Up

It was the first weekend of October and the weekend of the Junior High retreat. Something about faith; don't know, don't care. My parents were off for a getaway weekend and had left me and my newly acquired drivers licence to run the household; what fun. Jonathan needed a ride that Friday afternoon and I saw it as the best time to fill up the Mercury. The needle was suspended at the 1/8th mark and, to say the least, I was not going to live out Box's little gas gauge escapade. But that's another story, isn't it Jake? As I assisted Jonny with his things, which included the largest sleeping bag in existence, Jonny suddenly insisted that his things go in the trunk. I informed him that there was more than enough space in the back seat, but he didn't care and I didn't either. I was more than ready to get rid of him for the weekend. So his possessions were placed in the trunk and even with the abnormally large sleeping bag, his stuff filled up maybe a sixth of my awe-inspiring trunk.

As we swung into the parking lot, me and Box met eyes and we greeted each other with a nonchalant nod. "Yes," I said to myself, "I am the definition of cool." Jonny sprang out of the car and made his way to the back, where he waited attentively for the trunk door to magically open while I searched the interior of the vehicle for said magical lever. As I pulled what I thought was the correct switch, Jonny quickly informed that the magic wasn't happening. "It's an old car" I thought, "I told him he should have put it in the backseat." No matter, I swiftly opened the trunk and struck up a quick conversation with Gordan as Jonny ran his things into the church in true Junior High fashion.

But I was ready to split and soon cruised out of the parking lot to complete my last objective. The traffic on westbound 290 was worse than usual so I quickly compensated and rolled into the Citgo across the highway and thus sealed my fate. Now you ladies might not no this, but us guys have a certain code of conduct when we are alone and that's to act "cool." You may say that not every guy acts this way, but, believe me, all the cool ones do. This behavior includes keeping conversation with strangers at a minimum, a relaxed and laid back composer and most likely, a heightened sense of infallibility. Up to this point in my life, I had only witnessed the payment method at stations and the vast majority was with those lovely little credit cards. To bad all I had was cash and although the idea of paying before pumping was not completely foreign to me, I had never made the connection that it was pretty much universal.

So as I coolly removed the nozzle, pressed pay with cash, and began to wait I had no idea that I was messing with the system. As the little screen continued to flash "processing," I began to sense that something was wrong, but hey, above all else, keep your "cool." However, as the fellow customers finished their business and left be standing there awkwardly with nozzle in hand, I got that little voice in my head telling me to ask for help. Now again ladies, this voice is much more prominent in your minds than in us men and for the sake of keeping "cool," we continue to try to suppress it for as long as possible. And that's just what I did, God knows being clueless is far better than drawing any kind of attention.

Unfortunately for me, both occurred that day as one of the "Apu's" from inside the station ran outside, arms flailing and screaming at me in a very heavy Pakistani accent that "You need to pay inside sir!" (I hate to use stereotypes, but why is that one so true?) Needless to say, I was soon at the desk handing the cashier some green and mumbling "20 on #5 please." It didn't help that the cashier then told me "Now you can pump you gas." Now my only objective was to fill up and get out ASAP while still somehow keeping my "cool." Of course, at that time I finally noticed that my hood was gawkily detached and at a 15 degree angle no less. (So that's what I opened back in the church parking lot) Yes, the loud thud produced from my closing of of the hood, ended any hope of my slipping away unnoticed.

This time the process was smoother up until I attempted to loosen the gas cap. I must have stood there for 2 minutes trying to finagle that thing open, when I once again got that inkling to look for directions. This time however, I just wanted to leave and all I needed to do was, God forbid, actually look at the gas cap for those little arrows. I was indeed turning the right direction and all it needed was a swift twist. But I slipped back into my car thoroughly defeated and pondering on how idiotic I had looked for the duration of what I'd call a train wreck. Yes, what was supposed to be a 2 min. pit stop mutated its way into 20 min. shame fest.

It was at this time that the state of cool shows it's better side as I shrugged it off, cranked up the radio and cruised on down the road never to return. (I hate Citgo)

A Few Things I Think I Think-

>I don't think I understand salads. I was at Texas Land and Cattle last week and passed, as I always have, on the salad and pondered to myself why people eat them. I honestly can't stand them and its not that I hate vegetables. I love me some tomatoes, corn on the cob, mashed potatoes, green peas, black olives, black eyed peas, and buttered carrots, but I hate salads. Mostly because its almost all lettuce, which is really just glorified green paper, and although most others like to choke them down with a bottle full of ranch dressing, I'd rather do without. (Would you like some salad to go with that ranch?) And its worse because most every restaurant caters only salads and when I pass, I get that snobby look like "Ohh, you don't eat salads, your such a pig." Nope, sorry. You can go on thinking that stuff is the highest beacon of health foods while I eat something good and has a texture that doesn't resemble flimsy plastic. Pass that steak please.

>I think Box hates my comments on his blog. I wrote an elongated comment on his latest post and as of now, it has yet to make it onto the site. This isn't the first time. I don't believe he ever posted my retort to his criticism of my sports picks. Hmmm...

Sports Center-

I've defended and given the benefit of the doubt to the Texas defence for this entire season and I'm done with it. Coming into this year, I assumed their secondary would be their strong point as they would be returning 3 seasoned veterans including probably one of the best CB's in the country in Aaron Ross along with 2 of the most highly touted CB recruits. But no, they suck and although our offence was less than efficient without Colt McCoy, they are solely to blame for the loss to a team that was killed by Baylor. (BTW, I don't like to make excuses for my picks, but when your starting QB is knocked out in the first quarter and your backup actually acts like a Freshman, all bets are off) The streak had to end sometime, too bad it had to happen last week. Looking forward to your visit A&M. Ohh and stop messing with our campus and get a job.

My pickoff record (14-12)

Dallas 24 Indy 42-Peyton rips the Boys to shreds.

Houston 22 Buffalo 20-Gritty to the end, Carr leads the comeback.

Maryland 31 Boston College 27-Basically I like Maryland's unies better.

V Tech 26 Wake Forrest 20-Say goodbye to this Cinderella story.

Rutgers 13 Cincinnati 17-Aren't I a stinker.

Cal 35 USC 34-No BCS for you USC!

Ohio State 34 Michigan 19-I really hate Michigan, that's why I always want Loyd Carr there.

Cincinnati 24 New Orleans 27-N.O. staying alive.

Seattle 31 San Francisco 13-Sean, these are boring games to pick, better start commenting or I'm dumping your team.

San Diego 30 Denver 32-Since when are the Chargers 7-2?

Video of the Week-Asian Trix, probably my favorite Family Guy clip I didn't repeat to my GA team. This is for you Jonny, you whining brat.

Life Generally Gets Sucky

Wow, three weeks in and I've already killed my weekly routine, but it seems like I'm on par with everyone else. Guess everyone was as busy as me. Oh and by the way... school generally sucks right now. I try, much like Box, to get a post up on Monday each week. Which is really the start of the week, not Sunday. (If only I were God or some such thing as that) This week was the accumulation of all that is wrong with the world. (Not really I'm in the pity party mood; who wants an invitation?) It was really more of the accumulation of of a bunch a homework deadlines that make me feel warm inside, which, in turn, causes me to sweat profusely.

The first round of college applications swung around this week and I spent the majority of Monday and Tuesday throwing together forms, transcripts and essays... sigh. This in turn, thoroughly screwed up the rest of the week as I desperately tried to play catch up. One thing led to the next and I soon found myself burning both ends of the candle last Thursday night/Friday morning in a desperate attempt to leave Saturday open for relaxation with friends and a night of partying/murdering.

Of course Saturday afternoon I got word that my friend, who was quite exited about coming, had been gotten the best of by a wave of allergies and couldn't even tell me in person that he couldn't attend. Once again... sigh... I still had a speech to prep for on Monday and to say the least, I staggered into this week with quite a limp along with slight feeling of defeat.

So what? Every once and a while, life gives ya a solid roundhouse kick to the face and I'll take the liberty of saying that we usually don't like it too much. Life's tough enough in the first place, so why spend all your time worrying about the future. I learned this in my Junior year, where I was gasping for air every week with no end in sight. I was sick of it, I spent so much time trying to control everything that I accomplished nothing, which, in turn, brought on the wicked side effect of depression. I hate to say it but I told God to go suck an egg and leave me alone! I can handle my own... I can't tell you how many times I've tried to shove God out. I do it without even thinking, it's almost subconscious, as if there's a part of me that wants to glorify myself. Hey what da ya know...

I've gotten better at catching myself and crawling back to God with the look of a 5 year old with his hand stuck in the cookie jar. It's not a great feeling, but its so short lived and the after affect is what I've been missing. I still give my best effort and learn from my mistakes but I let God worry about the future. (Since he's the only one that can really do anything about it) The work is still there, but there's a joy along side it because I know it will work out regardless of my efforts. So simple, but so profound. (by the way, this weekend was great. I still got to catch a movie with a friend and attend a killer party [cheesy goodness!] and at least I wasn't stuck at home with allergies)

A Few Things I Think I Think-
>I think Monday should be considered the start of the week. None of the Sunday stuff. Everyone knows that the week starts on the dreary Monday morning and doesn't get good until that liberating Friday afternoon. The same should be said for the new year. It should start in August when all that drudgery starts. I shouldn't complain too much though, all that drudgery is hopefully getting me to college.

>I don't think I understand why TV networks start shows in the middle of seasons. Where did the OC come from? Here I go thinking that these series's are rightfully gone for good and they make a entrance from out of nowhere. Then again, why should I care. I've only seen like half an episode, which is the same for about every other series out there except the Office.

>I think its getting pretty stupid how these animated kids movies are copying each other. From my count there have been 3 ant movies, 2 mouse movies, 2 zoo animal movies, and 2 penguin movies. The stories are tweaked a bit, but its beyond a coincidence anymore. These movies are cash cows and I guess the studios don't think they need much originality. The kids will drag their parents to the theaters regardless. Cha-ching.

Sports Center-
I can remember the days when I would literally cry when the Cowboys would loose a regular season game by a late field goal. But today, something deep inside me wants it to happen. I know, I know Jake I'm the worst fan ever, but for the last 3-4 years the Boys have pretty much sucked. They have talent, but they have developed the uncanny ability to loose games they should win in the most amazing ways possible. No example could be better than last weeks loss to the Washington Redskins. (hooray for Phil and his clan; why isn't Taylor ever online by the way?) I won't dabble in the specifics, but Dallas gave away that game in so many ways. When the final kick passed through the uprights, I couldn't stop laughing; they had done it again. The best explanation for my sick little obsession is that I dislike the team; the players, the coaches, THE OWNER! There are a few guys like Julius Jones, Roy Williams and Terry Glenn that I generally like, but ever since the exodus of the big three long ago, I haven't liked the team. So some part of me always likes to see them eat it good.

As for this week I'm still not going to analyze this train wreck; Just make a blind prediction. Dallas 34 Arizona 12

The Horns finally got a good thumping out of their conference schedule. I see them doing the same against the formerly great KSU. Texas 38 Kansas State 17

Welcome back to earth Aggies. Have fun thinking you were a good team? You've had spurts of greatness but need I remind you of your incomparable coach. Good thing y'all are hosting Nebraska, a team that also has spurts of greatness amongst a wasteland of mediocrity. What the heck, the 12th mam will pull through in this one.
Texas A&M 19 Nebraska 16

(don't go bonkers just yet, you won't be winning any championships anytime soon) Speaking of Championships, guess what I stumbled upon on YouTube. Probably one of the craziest sports videos ever. Yup, it's the Aggies winning. Box and Baker can enjoy this for its sports value, but I love this video because of the insane announcer's call. This guy's a psycho and from what I can tell, he must suffer from extreme mood swings and a impeccably small vocabulary. I've never heard such a change in emotion as he crosses the goal line. It's a classic. In fact, lets just make it the vid of the week.

Video of the Week-A&M Big 12 Champs (Ohh Doctor! I've just been injected with pure sugar and it's kicking in!)


My pickoff record (9-7) If you want to mock me Jake, then make some picks of your own.

Louisville 27 Rutgers 29-Just because I want it doesn't it make it so?

Tennessee 14 Arkansas 17-I guess it's the worse of two evils.

USC 31 Oregon 32-Replay help or no, go Ducks!

Houston 13 Jacksonville 28-Can I hype Super Mario any more?

San Diego 28 Cincinnati 31-Two underachieving teams here.

St. Louis 20 Seattle 24-Yes I do believe in Seneca Wallace

Chicago 19 New York 15-This'll be a good one.

Hope your life doesn't suck too much lately -Later

The Perks of Being "Legal"

So its week two in our little blogging escapade and my site continues to take shape. As you can see I've added a counter, wonderful little poll, and as of last night, a streaming media player. I've also tweaked the parameters of the text and formatting. In doing so, I've learned more about html formatting in the last week than in my previous 18 years of existence. Nothing was more enjoyable than spending hours of labor to find out just how easy the beta version of blogger is. This revelation shattered the belief that I know everything there is to know about web-design. Pfffft... Reality is so depressing. Some of you have pointed out that I had too much sports in my first post. To that, I say "thank you Faith, you are so perceptive." I am sports minded, like most other guys. Its going to be on my mind! That's why I put each subject in its own dandy little segment. So when you start drooling on your keyboard, just move on. And that's just what we'll do.

As you might have caught from Jake's announcement, it was my 18th birthday last Sunday, hence the little honor points competition during the service, lesson, talk... (what do you call it anyway?) After church my family took me out to Texas Land and Cattle and threw me probably the last gift opening "session" I'll have at home. By the way, I got two books, a car emblem, mini fridge, and a boat load of candy. (that's what happens when you don't ask for much) However, as my 17th year has come to it's end, I've noticed just how many gifts I've been given and how many perks come with adulthood, purely in terms of legality mind you.

There are lots of little things that show me things are changing. Like having to register to for Selective Services just in case someone decides to inundate the draft soon; I don't think I'll have to worry too much. Then there's voter registration, which I'm probably most excited about, but I'll get to that later. I even got a free new razor and shaving gel from Gillette for my birthday. You know, one of those new fusion blades; those commercials almost make me ashamed to be a man, they're so cheesy. But I must confess, they're telling the truth when they say it has less irritation. Snazzy...

However, as I look back at my... "development" I come to appreciate all the freedoms I've piled up and, all of a sudden, its like "dang, I'm all grown up... kind of." The most obvious example of this would be my 1991 Mercury Grand Marquis and licence to kill. (did I say kill? I meant drive) I'll take this time to highlight my ultra sweet ride. Jake Box has been quoted as saying "The thing's a tank!" I couldn't agree more. The thing's got an engine too, and its not shy about letting you know either. And, if you don't mind me saying, you can fit like 5 bodies in the trunk. That's like 20 Jr. highers so you guys better watch it. Now that I'm 18 and have sheded my permitual boundaries, I can literally go where I want, with who I want, whenever I want. Thusly, I have dedicated this weeks page audio to the bliss of driving with Rascal Flatts greatest song ever, but you already knew that. Never mind that it has no air conditioning or cup holders. Its pretty much the greatest vehicle in the history of mankind.

And the best part is that I didn't pay a dime for it, with the exception of my first fill-up, which was a nightmare. But that's another story; it sure would have been good for that story competition. Anyway, yes, my parents own the car and let me drive it. For all the talk they gave me as a child that I was going to have to pay for a car, college and life in general, they're really dishing it out for me. And its not just the car, This year they have graciously given me a cell phone, and incredibly sweet laptop. The amount of freedom and independence I have acquired recently has snuck up on me. I can only assume that, for one, my parents are very gracious and trust me, and that I must have earned it someway along my life. All that pointless work and responsibility payed off after all. I'm nothing but perfect, but guess I've done pretty well. As my two younger siblings argued at Texas Land and Cattle, my mother wished out loud that they would act more like me and Lydia. So... what can you take from my little rant? I guess you younger folk can understand that working hard, getting good grades, obeying your parents, and developing and upholding your convictions has its benefits. You may not see it right away, or even for a while, but as we learned in Jake's series on authority a few months back, embracing your authorities instead of rebelling against them increases your freedom. (and its freaking awesome to drive too!)
A Few Things I Think I Think-

>I think Jake should relinquish his two honor points, or retry the challenge with much more effort. I GAVE two of my newly acquired honor points to Jake for singing the lovely intro to the skit last Sunday and I'm sure you'd agree with me that his performance was lackluster. We all know you can't sing, but you can't take advantage of my lack of experience in the game. I'm waiting...

>I think Apple should make their own video game console and cell phone service. Based on their prior performance, they'll probably make great products. And besides, they'll automatically make a killing on anything with "i" in the name. Then they come out with a new version every month.

>I think I haven't spent enough time thinking on what to put in my things I think I think segment.

Sports Center-

When I first looked at the cover of the latest SI sporting, what they claimed were the three "next gen" players, I couldn't believe they would put Carmelo Anthony in the center and Dwayne Wade and Lebron James on the outside. Then I realised it was based on geographic location and the Carmelo cover was for the entire western half of the country. It couldn't tick me off more because I don't think Anthony is at the same level as James or Wade in the slightest. Ever since those three were drafted, I thought they were over-hyped by the press, but as their carers have progressed, James and Wade have shown just how much of a force they can be. Anthony has not. Maybe its because I've mostly seen him playing the Spurs and he is shut down by Bruce Bowen, but the guy's just mediocre. He has his spurts of greatness, but when the Nuggets need a lift, it seems like the supporting cast steps up and "Melo" is well, melo. I'd pick Wade or James over Anthony in a heartbeat. All of them have talent, but Wade and James take over games and are the true leaders of their team.
With the NBA season just around the corner I'll make some quick predictions and then move on because no one cares till February.

Under the radar teams:

East-Bulls, Bobcats. Both are climbing the ladder and adding talent

West-Clippers, Jazz. Although I hate them, they are getting good

So Overrated Teams:

East-Nets, Pistons. Look for these teams to slide

West-Rockets, Grizzlies. They already suck and they aren't getting any better

There are so many things that scare me to death about the Horn's performance last week against Nebraska. Kicker consistency, the lack of the run game and that darn secondary are causing me to question how good this team is. However, Colt McCoy has continued to step up and lead the team when the running game and defence fall short and the defence still comes through when they have to. Now that I've got that out of the way, that was a classic game last week. I think this rivalry will start to heat up as the children of the corn continue to improve. As Texas heads to lovely Lubbock to play a very underachieving Texas Tech, I really want to see them dominate with the run and keep the ball out of Tech's hands. The Baylor game showed how a Tech style offence can expose the Texas secondary, but this is not the same Tech team that we have seen in years past. The Horns role in this one. Texas 42 Texas Tech 20

As the 7-1 Aggies start finally play pretty good teams, this "not play very well but still eek out a win at the end by taking out their QB and blocking a kick in overtime" strategy isn't going to work. The Aggies will be playing on the road against a clone of Tech with a better defence. Texas A&M 27 Baylor 36

I don't know what to think about the Cowboys anymore and frankly, I really don't want to try to analyze them. Each week there's a new problem or scapegoat. The defence, the offensive line, TO, Drew Bledsoe, Bill Parcels. I have no idea where they are going to go now. I wouldn't be surprised if they go 3-0 or 0-3 in the next few weeks. This team is so hard to dissect: I'm sick of it. That doesn't matter in the end though, the soap opera roles on. Dallas 13 Carolina 30

My pickoff record (3-3) I didn't make any risky picks last week, which was great for college and horrible for pro football. For some reason every ranked team came close to loosing in college but didn't, and this was upset week for every pro game. I've added a few more picks this week, including the Seahawks just for Sean.

My picks for this week:

Houston 17 Tennesee 19-Vince gets even.

Seattle 27 Kansas City 20-KC Baby! They seriously need some D.

Indy 35 Denver 27-This is such a great rivalry cause the Colts always win.

Tampa Bay 17 New York 24-Giants are looking good, who isn't against the Boys?

Florida 31 Georgia 15-I've never liked that ketchup-red color.

Oklahoma 21 Missouri 20-Two teams on a downward slide.

Georgia Tech 24 Miami 27-Miami should pay, but they won't.

Office Update-

Aww, isn't that cute, Jim and Pam are talking again. That relationship is going nowhere for this entire season. However, the show is still great as Dwight and Micheal continue to... well, do what they do. I love Pretzel Day!

Politics As Usual-

After the resent scandal/cover-up concerning Sen. Foley and his relationships with former pages, there has been a call from some highly respected conservative leaders to abstain from voting for Republicans in this election in order to send the message that there current behavior is unacceptable. The media has aided this campaign and there is now a debate within republican voters on whether to participate this time around. Their anger is not related to the Foley "scandal" as much as it is for the continued government spending and lack of action in terms of immigration. I have been engaged in politics since I was 14 and couldn't wait till I was 18 and I could finally participate in the system. The call to not vote Republican this year really ticks me off. In my first opportunity to vote your telling me to wait another 2 years before I give my input? I don't agree with every policy they have, but the Republicans have a direction and "teaching them a lesson" in my opinion, jeopardizes the country. In other words I can't wait to vote Republican in November. (Bye the way, does anyone care?)

Video of the Week-"Football in the Office"