For the last few weekends I've been milling around trying to think up a post in order to keep this trend going. (In other words, I like being the only one who keeps up on blogging) But, I've either been unable to find a topic of interest or too busy. I've been in Austin a lot in the last month or so and in some instances I've wanted to be back, others not so much.
Weekends in Seguin are interesting. I feel some guilt every time I skedaddle back to Austin, but then of course, when I spend the weekend on the always bustling TLU campus, there's nothing to do, unless of course I want to "throw some down," get plastered, and participate in whatever activities follow; it's always a surprise... I guess I'm just not very good at this college stuff am I?
I've recently noticed how many movies I saw over the summer, probably more than all my previous summers combined. That habit apparently didn't carry over to the school year as I've only graced a theater once, it was well worth it though. You'd think it would be a blockbuster and/or box office hit but no, I'd be surprised if the flick made $1 million. It was a documentary by Ron Howard and only opened in about 5 theaters in Texas, which is why it was required of me to spend the weekend at home in order to actually watch said documentary.
Following Howard's enthusiasm for the US Space Program, In the Shadow of the Moon documents the Apollo moon landings in the words of the few men alive who have set foot on an alien world. Being the history buff and space junkie that I am, I was looking forward to the opening for weeks and got the whole family to join in as we found the only cinema in Austin that will show small independent films. It was all that I had wanted and for 4/5ths of it, the movie was good. It was the last ten minutes that made this documentary great.
Hearing from these former astronauts, many of whom have now become Christians, what they experienced and how they now view the earth and the existence of man itself was something special and it's why I think everyone would enjoy it. If you're able to find the theater, its still showing in Austin and I'd highly recommend it.
After that movie excursion on Saturday afternoon, I "dropped off" my siblings at a dodgeball tournament and was soon roped into playing for the next 2 hours; man was I sore. Sunday afternoon was spent as a family at Olive Garden and I've discovered how much fun we have now. After enduring 17 years of awkward, tension filled family outings, all of a sudden we seem to get along... mostly. All of a sudden I enjoy coming back and spending time with them; who saw that coming? I mean I still crank up Sum 41's "Walking Disaster" as I approach the Austin city limit (that's a good album by the way, anyone else out there into it?) but I can't say that I can identify with all the lyrics, just some of them, and that's a good thing...
Last weeks visit wasn't quite for kicks, I've been needing to see an off-campus play for my Drama class and since Seguin isn't exactly a center for the arts, I was back in Austin once again while still fighting off the remnants of a mild cold. The afternoon preceding the play wasn't too amusing. My father was trying to replace the kitchen faucet while the girls were away and after halfway flooding the house and shutting off the water for 3 hours, which prevented me from taking a much needed shower, Texas laid an egg while playing KSU. Oh and all this on top of my car dieing out on me. Needless to say, I pulled into the obscure theaters parking lot with a bit of leftover frustration.
It was a fast-paced political comedy that pulled a few good chuckles out of me, but overall left me less than pleased as the last 10 minutes degraded into a pro-anarchy tirade. Sigh... I got back to my house at 11 at night and ready for the day to be over. Sunday was better; the perfect weather lured me out of the house for some after-church football. Due to my condition, I wasn't %100, but football is football. The rest of the day I spent trying to spend some time with my now sociable family while still getting my Camry to a shop. Homework kept me up till after midnight and I needed to catch a ride back to campus early Monday morning but at least I left feeling like I'd had some type of fulfilling weekend.
This weekend was homecoming and I had the family (or at least some of them) down for a visit. Next weekend is Fall break (a concept I'm still trying to comprehend but thankful for none the less) so I'll be doing what I can only assume everyone else on campus is doing for the extended weekend, getting on home. Let's hope this doesn't get too routine...
So that's what I'm up to, rap that post up and ship it.
Sunday, October 07, 2007
Friday, September 14, 2007
Yes, About This Love You Speak Of...
Welcome back, did you enjoy the break? I can say that I have. Things have settled down and classes are going great. Let's just say walking into the dinning hall isn't as awkward anymore. Anyway, I've said too much.
It was probably three years ago now when myself, Troy and Jake Franklin met at an inconspicuous Applebees in early June and made an apparently weak pact to read C.S. Lewis' "Mere Christianity" over the summer. Well, as of a few weeks ago, I've completed the piece and I'm going to have to update my Facebook favorites page. I'd have to say that it bears my official universal recommendation. Whether you're a Christian or not, I think everyone needs have this on the bedpost at some time. It's pretty much impossible to go through life without picking up the all too common falsities surrounding the the Christian faith and in the interest of simple understanding, Mere Christianity is an important read.
I could probably write my own book on just my responses to C.S. Lewis, but for now I'd like to focus on one crazy little thing called love... A lot of this could be traced back to a long winded post on marriage that burned out on me a few months back, but I do this chiefly so I can just start cataloging my reactions to Mere Christianity and return a favor, if you will, to an unnamed associate. In that nonexistent marriage post I hearkened to my frustration and confusion to today's use of the word love and its perceived labels assigned by society. Who doesn't love society...? Perhaps its just the constant evolution of the spoken word, but much like my views on "pop-dating" today, I don't understand or particularly subscribe to the current concept of love.
1 Corinthians 13:1-3
"If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing."
Everything from romantic comedies to candy wrappers tantalizes the emotions with delightful little notions of affection. But what if these insubstantial axioms are merely this fallen world's best attempts to delineate a conception that transcends our human existence? So often we wave the banner of love without a desire to define it and so intertwine it with the yearnings of our selfish hearts. Why do we utilize such a powerful concept so recklessly and then act so shocked when what we have tried to construct with it so painfully shatters to pieces?
Perhaps the largest reason why we in the English speaking world so vaguely discern the love we speak of is that our words fail to match the aspects. If only English were more like Greek, the language of most of the New Testament. Wikipedia clarifies the Greek definitions as such:
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails."
Often, we read through the list of characteristics and find them quite obvious and agreeable, but when put into practice, we fall miserably short and quickly resort to something less selfless and not so hard. We claim to love as if it were easy; some kind of second nature that utterly compels us to remain devoted endlessly. How trite and romanticistic... You want to know what love looks like? Here's your checklist. Let's not fool ourselves, how much do our mundane little assumptions on love truly match up? Part of our being human is facing the fact that we cannot in fact emulate true love. Much in the same way that we cannot ourselves be holy. However, no one can say that the bar has not been set.
Now, an especially frustrating concept that it thoroughly confused by man, the unfortunate blurring between attraction and love. As Lewis would say "the difference between being in love and love itself."
An excerpt from "Mere Christianity"
"What we call 'being in love ' is a glorious state, and, in several ways, good for us. It helps to make generous and courageous, it opens our eyes not only to the beauty of the beloved but to all beauty, and it subordinates (especially at first) our merely animal sexuality; in that sense, love is the great conqueror of lust. No one in his senses would deny that being in love is far better than either common sensuality or cold self-centredness. But, as I said before, 'the most dangerous thing you can do is to take any one impulse of our own nature and set it up as the thing you ought to follow at all costs'. Being in love is a good thing, but it is not the best thing. There are many things below it, but there are also things above it. You cannot make it the basis of a whole life. It is a noble feeling, but it is still a feeling. Now no feeling can be relied on to last in its full intensity, or even to last at all. Knowledge can last, principles can last, habits can last; but feelings come and go. And in fact, whatever people say, the state called 'being in love' usually does not last. If the old fairy-tale ending 'They lived happily ever after' is taken to mean 'They felt for the next fifty years exactly as they felt the day before they were married', then then it says what probably never was or never would be true, and would be highly undesirable if it were. Who could bear to live in that excitement for even five years? What would become of your work, your appetite, your sleep, your friendships? But of course, ceasing to be 'in love' need not mean ceasing to love. Love in this second sense- love is distinct from 'being in love'-is not merely a feeling. It is a deep unity, maintained by will and deliberately strengthened by habit; reinforced by (in Christian marriages) the grace which both partners ask, and receive, from God. They can have this love for each other even when they do not like each other; as you love yourself even when you do not like yourself. They can retain this love even when each would easily, if they allowed themselves, be 'in love' with someone else. 'Being in love' first moved them to promise fidelity: this quieter love enables them to keep the promise. It is on this love that the engine of marriage is run: being in love was the explosion that started it.
... People get from books the idea that if you married the right person you may expect to go on 'being in love for ever. As a result, when they find that they are not, they think this proves that they made a mistake and are entitled to change-not realising that that, when they have changed, the glamour will presently go out of the new love just as it went out of the old one."
Lewis goes on to make a case for embracing the new and more intimate aspects of marriage just as we greatly enjoy initially "being in love." The trap we can fall into is holding on to those old pleasures that we experienced in our youth, spending the rest of our lives trying to recapture the old feelings that have been hopelessly subsided. I'm sure we can all think of a few examples of this. Lewis continues by frowning on the notion that falling in love is a helpless endeavor that cannot be fought. So when some new person with a beautiful spirit crosses our path, we must "follow our heart." Ahh, the great trap of sexualizing every aspect of love in order to chase our fallen desires. Can we not love outside of marriage? Of course we can. We can love individuals for who they are without throwing sacred promises to the wind.
So it seems that love involves a great deal of work and commitment, especially when it is not easy. But it sounds so unromantic doesn't it? Why can't I follow my feelings? Sigh... Again you're letting the world dictate what you think, what you want to think. In doing that, you've taken an inherently good thing and making it an obsession, leaving no room for the fulfillment of God's love.
So, I've drawn out (drawn out indeed) a few things for myself, I hope that you can take something as well. Love's potency requires much care and dedication. Don't let yourself or others butcher its meaning. And read Mere Christianity!
It was probably three years ago now when myself, Troy and Jake Franklin met at an inconspicuous Applebees in early June and made an apparently weak pact to read C.S. Lewis' "Mere Christianity" over the summer. Well, as of a few weeks ago, I've completed the piece and I'm going to have to update my Facebook favorites page. I'd have to say that it bears my official universal recommendation. Whether you're a Christian or not, I think everyone needs have this on the bedpost at some time. It's pretty much impossible to go through life without picking up the all too common falsities surrounding the the Christian faith and in the interest of simple understanding, Mere Christianity is an important read.
I could probably write my own book on just my responses to C.S. Lewis, but for now I'd like to focus on one crazy little thing called love... A lot of this could be traced back to a long winded post on marriage that burned out on me a few months back, but I do this chiefly so I can just start cataloging my reactions to Mere Christianity and return a favor, if you will, to an unnamed associate. In that nonexistent marriage post I hearkened to my frustration and confusion to today's use of the word love and its perceived labels assigned by society. Who doesn't love society...? Perhaps its just the constant evolution of the spoken word, but much like my views on "pop-dating" today, I don't understand or particularly subscribe to the current concept of love.
1 Corinthians 13:1-3
"If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing."
Everything from romantic comedies to candy wrappers tantalizes the emotions with delightful little notions of affection. But what if these insubstantial axioms are merely this fallen world's best attempts to delineate a conception that transcends our human existence? So often we wave the banner of love without a desire to define it and so intertwine it with the yearnings of our selfish hearts. Why do we utilize such a powerful concept so recklessly and then act so shocked when what we have tried to construct with it so painfully shatters to pieces?
Perhaps the largest reason why we in the English speaking world so vaguely discern the love we speak of is that our words fail to match the aspects. If only English were more like Greek, the language of most of the New Testament. Wikipedia clarifies the Greek definitions as such:
The New Testament, which was written in Greek, only used two Greek words for love: agapē and philia. However, there are several Greek words for Love.
- Agapē. In the New Testament, agapē is charitable, selfless, altruistic, and unconditional. It is parental love seen as creating goodness in the world, it is the way God is seen to love humanity, and it is seen as the kind of love that Christians aspire to have for others.
- Philia. Also used in the New Testament, philia is a human response to something that is found to be delightful. Also known as "brotherly love".
- Eros (sexual love) is never used in the New Testament.
- Storge (needy child-to-parent love) only appears in the compound word philostorgos (Rom 12:10).
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails."
Often, we read through the list of characteristics and find them quite obvious and agreeable, but when put into practice, we fall miserably short and quickly resort to something less selfless and not so hard. We claim to love as if it were easy; some kind of second nature that utterly compels us to remain devoted endlessly. How trite and romanticistic... You want to know what love looks like? Here's your checklist. Let's not fool ourselves, how much do our mundane little assumptions on love truly match up? Part of our being human is facing the fact that we cannot in fact emulate true love. Much in the same way that we cannot ourselves be holy. However, no one can say that the bar has not been set.
Now, an especially frustrating concept that it thoroughly confused by man, the unfortunate blurring between attraction and love. As Lewis would say "the difference between being in love and love itself."
An excerpt from "Mere Christianity"
"What we call 'being in love ' is a glorious state, and, in several ways, good for us. It helps to make generous and courageous, it opens our eyes not only to the beauty of the beloved but to all beauty, and it subordinates (especially at first) our merely animal sexuality; in that sense, love is the great conqueror of lust. No one in his senses would deny that being in love is far better than either common sensuality or cold self-centredness. But, as I said before, 'the most dangerous thing you can do is to take any one impulse of our own nature and set it up as the thing you ought to follow at all costs'. Being in love is a good thing, but it is not the best thing. There are many things below it, but there are also things above it. You cannot make it the basis of a whole life. It is a noble feeling, but it is still a feeling. Now no feeling can be relied on to last in its full intensity, or even to last at all. Knowledge can last, principles can last, habits can last; but feelings come and go. And in fact, whatever people say, the state called 'being in love' usually does not last. If the old fairy-tale ending 'They lived happily ever after' is taken to mean 'They felt for the next fifty years exactly as they felt the day before they were married', then then it says what probably never was or never would be true, and would be highly undesirable if it were. Who could bear to live in that excitement for even five years? What would become of your work, your appetite, your sleep, your friendships? But of course, ceasing to be 'in love' need not mean ceasing to love. Love in this second sense- love is distinct from 'being in love'-is not merely a feeling. It is a deep unity, maintained by will and deliberately strengthened by habit; reinforced by (in Christian marriages) the grace which both partners ask, and receive, from God. They can have this love for each other even when they do not like each other; as you love yourself even when you do not like yourself. They can retain this love even when each would easily, if they allowed themselves, be 'in love' with someone else. 'Being in love' first moved them to promise fidelity: this quieter love enables them to keep the promise. It is on this love that the engine of marriage is run: being in love was the explosion that started it.
... People get from books the idea that if you married the right person you may expect to go on 'being in love for ever. As a result, when they find that they are not, they think this proves that they made a mistake and are entitled to change-not realising that that, when they have changed, the glamour will presently go out of the new love just as it went out of the old one."
Lewis goes on to make a case for embracing the new and more intimate aspects of marriage just as we greatly enjoy initially "being in love." The trap we can fall into is holding on to those old pleasures that we experienced in our youth, spending the rest of our lives trying to recapture the old feelings that have been hopelessly subsided. I'm sure we can all think of a few examples of this. Lewis continues by frowning on the notion that falling in love is a helpless endeavor that cannot be fought. So when some new person with a beautiful spirit crosses our path, we must "follow our heart." Ahh, the great trap of sexualizing every aspect of love in order to chase our fallen desires. Can we not love outside of marriage? Of course we can. We can love individuals for who they are without throwing sacred promises to the wind.
So it seems that love involves a great deal of work and commitment, especially when it is not easy. But it sounds so unromantic doesn't it? Why can't I follow my feelings? Sigh... Again you're letting the world dictate what you think, what you want to think. In doing that, you've taken an inherently good thing and making it an obsession, leaving no room for the fulfillment of God's love.
So, I've drawn out (drawn out indeed) a few things for myself, I hope that you can take something as well. Love's potency requires much care and dedication. Don't let yourself or others butcher its meaning. And read Mere Christianity!
Friday, August 31, 2007
Worlds Collide... I Miss the Old One...
First of all, my trip back to Austin after only one week at college was unintentional and a broken promise to myself. Yes, I am ashamed. I can't even go one week without crawling back home. In actuality, I had planned to make a quick day trip to pick up some art supplies (since Seguin apparently has no artsy fartsy store) only to find out that one of my long time friends was leaving Austin and having a final get-together during Sunday afternoon. So, my quick, drop by visit turned into an action packed nighter. I'm sure the activity level exceeded anything I would have been doing back in Seguin. (haven't quite cracked the party scene yet)
But as I was packing up on Sunday afternoon, I was struck with some familiar depression. The excitement of orientation left no room for teary-eyed goodbyes two weeks ago so this was new, and yet not new at all. (but more on that later) There was a comfort and secure familiarity with the weekend, especially at church. So much of me wants to screw this college stuff and nestle myself back into that awesome senior lifestyle.
Excuse me as I reach back into my file but you stiffs still at SW have something special. I'd love to give an elongated history lesson, but I'm trying to slim these things down. What I'm trying to say is it wasn't always like it is now. Back in the days, before even Troy and Stevie, when we met in YMCA yoga rooms, obscure portables, and Elementary School libraries. When we were without a youth group leader for months at a time and attendance was a solid 4 or 5 brave souls. I remember having previous acquaintances visit and/or dragged in by interested parents with the dear in the headlights look mixed with a "this sucks; lets go to EV-Free"mentality. I really didn't blame them. My first Backyard Bible Clubs experience had convinced me that this church and community was something special, but it was still so awkward for so long.
It was good for me; those kind of situations will either tune you out or force your individual growth. Thank God it was the latter. No more of that superficial Westlake social group that just happened to meet at a church. No, only God could cause people to stick out environments like HCBCSW in its infancy. Obviously I've seen it grow all this time, and as our community continued to grow and strengthen, the more I felt a part of God's purpose. I spent most of my years in high school searching for true friendship and church only fostered that for a fraction of that time. I miss it now; it hurts me to leave something that I've seen grow up in Christ along side me.
I've had this depressing mood-set before, I remember it well. It was just a month ago on a late Sunday night in the Dairy Queen across from the Northwest "mothership." Sean was tagging along (he seems to do that often) and we both shared a feeling of emptiness. It depresses me further that I now find the Concert of Praise to be such a let down, its not the same as it was years ago. I think a large part of that is that I've since come to the realization that the Concert of Praise marks the end of the Great Adventure. An end to the closeness I felt with friends and with Christ. An end to a clear sense of singular purpose and joy-bringing unity in Christ. We were all comrades in the spiritual war for humanity and there's no other feeling like it. I've come to cherish my summers, not as much for the time off, but for the time were we as believers can join in holy evangelism and service to ourselves and to the world.
God I miss it, and its now obvious that I'm so depressed because I'm "quiting cold turkey." I find myself asking God why I should be leaving something so good and glorifying to him? Why can't I just hang around, take a few ACC classes, and stay nestled in that cocoon of comfortable Christian culture? At this point I recognize my supreme selfishness and longing for path well traveled. I take a long breath, give a deep sigh and apologize. Forging ahead is what the Christian life is about. I'm only going to grow in environments where I am not quite comfortable and thusly reliant on God's direction. So I'm forced to look back and simply remember the good times, drop in and see you guys every once and a while, and forge ahead. Its not like I left God back in Austin.
As for you guys, make this short time you have special. Open up to others and to God, cherish those times given to you; they wont last forever. More than anything, hold onto what you came from. I don't want you to become another Plugerville; Sean can fill you in on that little explanation. Good luck to you Southwest, it was a heck of a ride.
But as I was packing up on Sunday afternoon, I was struck with some familiar depression. The excitement of orientation left no room for teary-eyed goodbyes two weeks ago so this was new, and yet not new at all. (but more on that later) There was a comfort and secure familiarity with the weekend, especially at church. So much of me wants to screw this college stuff and nestle myself back into that awesome senior lifestyle.
Excuse me as I reach back into my file but you stiffs still at SW have something special. I'd love to give an elongated history lesson, but I'm trying to slim these things down. What I'm trying to say is it wasn't always like it is now. Back in the days, before even Troy and Stevie, when we met in YMCA yoga rooms, obscure portables, and Elementary School libraries. When we were without a youth group leader for months at a time and attendance was a solid 4 or 5 brave souls. I remember having previous acquaintances visit and/or dragged in by interested parents with the dear in the headlights look mixed with a "this sucks; lets go to EV-Free"mentality. I really didn't blame them. My first Backyard Bible Clubs experience had convinced me that this church and community was something special, but it was still so awkward for so long.
It was good for me; those kind of situations will either tune you out or force your individual growth. Thank God it was the latter. No more of that superficial Westlake social group that just happened to meet at a church. No, only God could cause people to stick out environments like HCBCSW in its infancy. Obviously I've seen it grow all this time, and as our community continued to grow and strengthen, the more I felt a part of God's purpose. I spent most of my years in high school searching for true friendship and church only fostered that for a fraction of that time. I miss it now; it hurts me to leave something that I've seen grow up in Christ along side me.
I've had this depressing mood-set before, I remember it well. It was just a month ago on a late Sunday night in the Dairy Queen across from the Northwest "mothership." Sean was tagging along (he seems to do that often) and we both shared a feeling of emptiness. It depresses me further that I now find the Concert of Praise to be such a let down, its not the same as it was years ago. I think a large part of that is that I've since come to the realization that the Concert of Praise marks the end of the Great Adventure. An end to the closeness I felt with friends and with Christ. An end to a clear sense of singular purpose and joy-bringing unity in Christ. We were all comrades in the spiritual war for humanity and there's no other feeling like it. I've come to cherish my summers, not as much for the time off, but for the time were we as believers can join in holy evangelism and service to ourselves and to the world.
God I miss it, and its now obvious that I'm so depressed because I'm "quiting cold turkey." I find myself asking God why I should be leaving something so good and glorifying to him? Why can't I just hang around, take a few ACC classes, and stay nestled in that cocoon of comfortable Christian culture? At this point I recognize my supreme selfishness and longing for path well traveled. I take a long breath, give a deep sigh and apologize. Forging ahead is what the Christian life is about. I'm only going to grow in environments where I am not quite comfortable and thusly reliant on God's direction. So I'm forced to look back and simply remember the good times, drop in and see you guys every once and a while, and forge ahead. Its not like I left God back in Austin.
As for you guys, make this short time you have special. Open up to others and to God, cherish those times given to you; they wont last forever. More than anything, hold onto what you came from. I don't want you to become another Plugerville; Sean can fill you in on that little explanation. Good luck to you Southwest, it was a heck of a ride.
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