Saturday, February 06, 2010

Looking Back

In the last few weeks I've ventured back to this unattended creation of mine and stumbled across the various mussing of my past 3 and a half years. It's fascinating to see how things have changed, both with myself and my situation. I joined Blogger back in October of 2006 due to the constant prodding of church friends. This short-lived blogging sensation preempted the Facebook boom and was a chance to network among a small and already close youth group. As other social sites gained popularity and the strains of actually having to post something thinned the ranks of the blog faithful, I attempted to hang on. I was initially hostile to the idea of creating a blog because I knew it was a fad, but I justified the action as a way to catalog my thoughts against the backdrop of time and interact even more with high-school companions. Although interaction has become nonexistent, I'm able to take a look back at my development so to speak, and I've noticed a few things...


-I was obstinately subjective:
Granted, I would rarely post on something unless I was relatively sure of myself, but from my current perspective, I can't help but shake my head. I could chalk most of it up to the innocence of inexperience and the tendency of talking heads to spout controversy for the sake of shock value and an increased following. I'm aware that young adults tend to adopt a very relative thought process and world view and I'll admit that I've reveled in such a state for the last couple years. I don't see myself growing out of it anytime soon though. I'm always willing to change and take on the perspective of that next daisy chain of maturity; the one elders always warn you about. I've already seen the trend take shape; I'm becoming more like my dad everyday. However, I wonder if my general "understanding" for the diversity of humanity will become permanent, both with myself and my generation as a whole. Doesn't increased interaction often bread greater appreciation? I can't claim that I won't ever take a stand for or against something, but perhaps my statements won't be so impetuous.

I've gotten better at writing:
It's always been a strength of mine and I've always enjoyed stretching my creations to the limit, but some of my early work was downright childish. It's a lesson learned on constantly improving skill sets and a humbling reminder that I'll probably be reading this in twenty years with similar disdain; my apologies to myself. (What travesties have you caught already?) What's truly sad is that I usually slaved over these posts, endlessly attempting to perfect my vocabulary, sentence structure, and persuasive style. I would often triple check my spelling and grammar and blatant errors still slipped by somehow. It's rather pathetic since I rarely scan my academic work with the same ferocity. I guess that's an indication of my obsession with how I'm perceived. Hmm...

I've never required an audience:
Regardless of readership, I always seem to trudge on in penning my elongated posts. I'm not too surprised. From the very beginning, I pledged to continue this project with little regard for how those around me performed. In my childhood heyday, I could spot fads coming from a mile away and I had a bizarre ability to preempt the crash of said phenomenon and make out like a bandit. I was able to sell my decently sized pokemon card collection (all of which were given to me, I never bought a single card) for about $20, right before their value tanked. I've become accustom to the chilling vacancy of my blogosphere with the exception to the occasional spam comment and I'd be content if things stayed that way. The only thing which has prevented my posting consistency is the lack of time. Although, I'd love to construct a weekly update the speed of my writing and the prevalence of more pressing (and social) activities thwarts my steadiness. I've grown to accept my erratic nature and my promises to change that are probably a distant memory. Whatever you get here, consider it a miracle.

How jarring would it have been to know that within 4 years Jake Box and most of the youth would have left Southwest, I'd be attending a school I had previously found pathetic (and still do to an extent), I'd thoroughly enjoy the company of my family, and I'd be writing a blog from snow-drenched Washington DC? Where I wonder will I find myself in another 7 semesters? Here's hoping I'll still be around to report on the latest happenings. Until that time blog, let's catch up sooner rather than later.